The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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