i wish there were pregnant emoticons
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
