So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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