His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
