i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
