hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
