Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
