Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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