Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
