So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
