Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
