OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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