I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Randomize
