halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
