Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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