she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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