My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
