She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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