What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
