I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
