Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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