Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
