Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
