we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
