if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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