idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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