Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
