y did u give ur computer a hand job?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i've created a new STD.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
