What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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