CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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