Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
