wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
there is glitter all over my balls
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
