6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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