Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
