I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
