It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
