there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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