I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
