She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
