How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
