i jhust puked up my retainher.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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