let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
