things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
