Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
