yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
