then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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