we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
