Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
