what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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