Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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